I vas searchink ze veb vone mornink vhen I found ze game 'Animal Jam'. "Zis looks fun", I said and I created an account called 'PuppyFoxPrettyGirl123' and played ze game. Zen I noticed somefink zat vas very annoyink. "Vhat ze fuck?! I can't fuckink cuss on zis stupid game!", I yelled. So zen I vent to AJHQ's headkvarters buildink and pissed and shat on zeir lawn. Zat made me feel a bit better so I vent back home. My parents vere goink somevhere and zey vanted to know vhere I vent so I told zem to stay ze fuck out of my business. Zen I vent inside and got back on AJ.

I spent some time goink to night clubs viz my volf who I named 'Princess Prettygirl'. I vould've named her 'Vodka', but ze stupid game vould not let me type in ze name. Anyvay, I made her go to sleep since I just knew zat she vas tired from all ze fun shit she had done. Suddenly, I noticed a veird volf starink at Princess like he vanted to do veirdo shit to her. I clicked on ze volf and it said zat his username vas ScaryHacker666. His volf vas all black viz ze X eyes and had blood on it and its organs vere stickink out and its face vas cracked open. It reminded me of vhat zis vone girl from my neighborhood looked like after I pushed her in front of a truck after she vouldn't let me have any of her candy. Anyvay, I typed in ze chat, "Who are you and what do you freaking want?!"

ScaryHacker666 sat zere quiet for a few minutes before he actually typed somefink, "I WAN 2 HACK U!!!1!!!!!!11111!!!!!! GIMME UR SPIKEZ!!!!11!!!11!!!" "What the fork?! I don't even know you!", I typed back. I meant to say 'fuck' but Animal Jam vouldn't let me. ScaryHacker666 typed back, "YES U DO NO ME!!!!111!!!!!11!!! N I NO UR NAME!!!11!!!!1!!!! UR NAME IZ VALASTA!!!!!111!!!!!! UR FULL NAME IZ VALASTA OBSIDIAN CLARINET ANTARCTICA HANOVNENSKISENSKAYA!!!!!111!!!!11!!!" ZAT VAS MY REAL NAME!!!!! I vas like, "HOW ZE FUCK DO YOU KNOW MY REAL NAME???!!!!!" Zen his volf started glitchink and made ze den I vas in look all bloody and gory. Princess and all ze ozzer animals in ze den now had blood on zem and zeir organs stickink out and no eyes.

Ze den's music became distorted and reminded me of vhat my mom sounds like vhenever my dad makes out viz zat vone veird lady at his job. I tried to mute my computer but it just got louder and ScaryHacker666 typed, "DON'T TURN IT OFF!!!!!!11!!!!1111!!!" I zen looked out my vindow and saw a creepy guy viz no eyes sittink down viz a laptop playink AJ. I immediately took a gun zat vas lyink around and shot ze creepy dude in ze head. I fought it vas over but zen suddenly I turned around and saw somefink vhich made me scream.

So later zat day I voke up on ze floor of my room. My laptop screen had a big hole in ze middle of it and lots of little holes all over it. My 19 bottles of vodka I stole from ze gas station vere all empty and broken on ze ground. I fink I had some ozzer shit lyink around too.

And so zat vas how my veekend vent.